Monday, February 11, 2013

Annual Post: When to stay and when to leave

I have nothing specific to write about, but I thought I'd put something down because I have the urge to write.   It's pretty pitiful that my last post here was in 2011...I guess I'm a tempermental blogger, only posting when it absolutely suits me.
I doubt this will even be read for quite some time and that is fine with me.  To be honest, over on the Facebook, I'm friends with so many people that I don't know too well and with so many of my students, I don't ever really feel like sharing or debating or whatever it is we do on facebook these days. So I wouldn't want to write any of this sort of stuff over there.  Anyways, this is already wandering.

So I've been given 3 different job offers in the past 6 months.  I turned down the first two: both promotions, and both with higher salaries.  This third one I'm currently pondering.  A year ago I would have turned down any offer out-of-hand just because I love where I work and what I do.  But in this past year there is a new unsettled feeling in my bones...like a change is needed or coming.  So I find myself taking offers like these more seriously.  There will be a day I move on from my current job, but I'm just figuring out if the day is now.

You see, for me leaving isn't so easy.  I have kids in whom I'm invested.  These are kids that, I think, everyone else ignores-- many by their own families.  But I have made our mission not to ignore, but to uplift, highlight, and enrich these kids.  My mission has been to run our bus into the ground picking kids up and expend every resource to get them involved and make them able to participate.  I don't care about  fiscal efficiency, or inconvenience in bringing kids whose parents don't lift a finger to pay for trips or help their children.  I care only that ministry is being done. Would the next person who comes along care for these kids too?  I really pray they would and trust that in God's will all these things work togther for good as long as we keep abiding in that will.

I wonder when I leave if I've left anything that can stand on it's own.  I've tried to train new musicians to lead worship for whenever I'm gone.  I hope that they have the tools they need.  I hope that the youth program would still be robust, taking pains to involve the kids we've drawn in already.  I hope that whoever comes behind has a heart for these students, and for the truth to be spoken over their lives.  I hope they persist with the most annoying middle schoolers or the most attitudinous high schoolers.  I hope they care...really care.  I hope they see the bright future that the darkest life can have.  Lord may it be so.

That's my hopes for when I leave.  Just need to figure out if the time is now.  Like my favorite songwriter Pierce says, "Jim Brown knew something fools don't know.  He knew when it was time to go."  Now I can often be quite a fool, but hopefully I'll be like old Jim and know the time when it comes.

If you read this rambling collection of words, then I applaud your endurance.  See you soon?  (Like March 2015 or so?)

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